I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
