I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
