She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
