Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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