exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
