I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
