Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
How naked do you want me to be?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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