I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
