why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
