You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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