do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sorry about my life...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
