I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need to sanitize my soul.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
