can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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