i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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