My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
