You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize