apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
