Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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