brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
