I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
