Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
