I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize