i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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