the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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