i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
