Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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