I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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