i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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