He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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