tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
