Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
