He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
