I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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