like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
