I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
