he thought i was a dude.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
