the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
