Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
