the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dear god my vagina.
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