I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
ok first of all what the fuck
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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