I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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