What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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