I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
