his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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