I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just invented taco cereal.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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