That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
