i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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