dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
