People in love make me want to vomit
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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