could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
