he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
