Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
