ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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