we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
