Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
