You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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