they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
