i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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